The worst thing God ever showed me in prayer....
I pray for my kids everyday, but on Wednesdays I fast for them too. It's the day I storm heaven on behalf of them, praying the world does not take them, that they do not lose their faith. I pray they are kept safe, that they may always have strength to resist the devil, and that they always listen to my husband and I. (I'll admit, some of the evils of the day absolutely terrify me.)
This morning while praying for them, God laid something powerful on my heart. He let me imagine a horrific scenario regarding my kids... horrific... my worst nightmare, actually. He had me imagine losing them to human trafficking. I know... sickening.... but bear with me.
In this scenario my kids went behind our backs, abandoned our rules, used social media exactly how we said NOT to, they snuck out, and were taken. They were sold. They were held prisoner to the worst kind of torture imaginable. They were used, abused, exploited. In this scenario my husband and I found our daughters but they wouldn't leave that life. They wouldn't come with us. (My gosh I can barely type these words it's causing me so much anxiety and heartache.)
I began to cry in my prayers this morning - sob actually - and I tried to think of something else. But this thought was too consuming and wouldn't leave me. It was just awful.
"Lord take this away from me," I cried. "Why would you let me think of this evil?!"
"Because you asked to know how I feel." He said.
It was true. Earlier I had casually wondered what the Lord thinks or feels when He looks at the world today. I didn't really expect an answer like this, though. I didn't expect him to actually let me feel it. (Though I know it was only a small fraction of what he actually does feel.)
My goodness it was eye opening to think about. God has tried ever so hard to teach us, to warn us, to keep us safe. But so many of his children - whom He loves with an unfathomable love - have gone away, behind his back, abandoned his teaching, ignored his warnings. And they've lost their faith.
They became powerless against the devil. They caved to the ways of the world and were thus sold to it. They were yoked to the evil one that keeps them a prisoner to the passions of the flesh.
They now live in the torture of anxiety and fear, and in bondage to sin. The devil now uses and abuses them with daily assaults. He keeps them hopeless, in despair, devoid of peace, joy or love. Their whole existence and self worth is now wrapped up in what they look like, what they have, or what they can do for someone else. They see themselves only through the perverted mirror of others' perception.
It becomes too much to bear and they begin to resent the Father who they think did not save them. They forget that they abandoned him. And if they would just listen carefully they would hear that He is knocking and calling just outside the door of their free will....a door that only opens from inside.. inside the heart.
If only they would answer the door and see that it is Him... and return home with Him... not just to his boundaries, but to His provision, His warmth, His love, His peace.
Oh my friends, He is knocking, calling. With deep love and terrible, TERRIBLE anxiety He is seeking you, pursuing you. He is prepared to fight for you, to rescue you, to save you.
Return home, friend. Just open the door. He has prepared a place in his kingdom just for you... where you will not want for anything, where peace flows like a river, where anxieties melt away in the warmth of His light.
I'm fasting and praying today for my children - as well as Gods children who are lost. Please consider joining me. God will not be out done in generosity. I know that if I give him these efforts for his children, He will give me his efforts for mine.
Let me know if you're in. And share it with someone who you think would like to join us. I think I'm going to do this every week.
Peace to all...